


What Love Isn't

by thatonelucky



Category: Jetty - Fandom, Riverdale - Fandom, bughead - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 12:20:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12864396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatonelucky/pseuds/thatonelucky
Summary: As Betty's walking home from the Thornhill party, she recounts memories in her head and starts to see a different view. A tragic tale of pain and growth in a short walk home. Wishing only for the future to come quicker.





	What Love Isn't

                “The world was a black and white swirl of passing time and wasted chances. There was no difference in the day to day workings of everyone stuck in this period of life. A slow moving plot-line and a swift race against time. The blur of unfamiliar faces and passing people never ingrained in a memory because those people are insignificant. When you walk past a stranger you are insignificant. Being nice doesn’t change genetics.

                People are assholes; people are people. There is no difference between a stranger and a friend because at the end of the day you always get treated the same. Except, being nothing to a stranger doesn’t procure the same heart aching pain as being nothing to someone you considered a friend.  Someone who you trusted, loved and cared for. Someone who’s only aim was to take everything you had and leave you empty.

                Friends were always a hard concept. Having someone genuinely care for you and accept you for who you are without hesitation. Friends check on you when times are tough, not for any ulterior motive. Friends plan to spend time with you even if your life is a mess of work and late assignments because friends want to help you. Friends want to cherish you.

                Trust is almost as impossible to find as friendship. Remembering the times where trust was so easily developed and realising that now, trust means nothing. You could trust someone who turns out to be selfish and vindictive. You could trust someone whose only intentions are evil. You could trust anyone in this world and it wouldn’t take you 5 minutes to figure out that all they ever really wanted was your pain and your anguish.

                People love too easily. People give love out and don’t realise the true pain behind the words or the true meaning in their heart. People have different perceptions of what love is and what love means. But love isn’t putting your needs before theirs. Love isn’t disappearing for days on end and coming back with no more than a normal string of words. Love isn’t replacing the person you’re supposed to love with someone brand new because they’re easier to deal with. Love isn’t calling the one you love hard to deal with in the first place.

                Love isn’t throwing away any chance at redemption and blaming it on them. Love isn’t using a tragic event in their life as leverage for forgiveness. Love isn’t lying and manipulating to keep them around for just a little bit longer, just before they see your true colours. Love isn’t purposely not including them because you can’t be bothered today. Love isn’t using the same excuse time and time again for the same mistakes that you make. Love isn’t pointing out their issues and refusing to accept your own.

                Love isn’t ignoring them when there’s a crisis in their life that they chose to come to you with. Love isn’t using a fake story just so that you can end a conversation. Love isn’t coming home only to push them aside and wait for someone else. Love isn’t making plans for the future and then using the same plans with someone new. Love isn’t being able to replace someone so easily, as if they were nothing to you.

                Trust is one to talk. Flailing around as evident as ever, a big sign with flashing lights only screaming to be noticed. Trust needs validation and popularity. Trust needs to seep into your life and rip it into shreds one piece at a time. So trust targets the places that hurt the most, because trust only has one intention. That being destruction.

Trust isn’t telling the world your secrets with the intent to make your life hell. Trust isn’t using your one weakness against you because they know they’ll control you if they can. Trust isn’t taking your phone with the intent to ruin the friendships you worked so hard to build. Trust isn’t demeaning your sexuality because they believe it doesn’t exist.

Trust isn’t making you angry purposely to play the victim. Trust isn’t using your mental health to their advantage to get attention. Trust isn’t acting more damaged just because you’re hurting. Trust isn’t lowering you to build themselves a glorious pedestal that you have to stand them on. Trust isn’t realising that happiness came before they started. Trust isn’t possessive and dominating. Trust isn’t scary and violent. Trust isn’t destructive to any of the other people around you.

Friends are the ones who are least worth your time and your effort.  They only come into your life to find out what’s going on and report it back to anyone they can find. Friends are the ones that turn into trust and turn into love. Friends are the seeds of pain that sit in the soil, waiting for the perfect time to sprout and ruin your life.

Friends aren’t the ones who stand in the back, watching from afar as you get ripped to pieces. Friends aren’t the ones who avoid picking you up and wiping your tears because it damages their image. Friends aren’t the ones who refuse to defend you to the public when you’re being so unfairly treated. Friends aren’t the ones who post your life for the whole world to see.

                Friends aren’t the ones who sit laughing with the bullies. Friends aren’t the ones who ignore and mistreat you just because they can. Friends aren’t the ones who are so insecure that they have to call you a freak or call you boring. Friends aren’t the ones who put you at blame for everything that’s gone wrong in your life so far.

                But most of all, friends aren’t the ones who blame you for love being pain or trust being violent. Friends don’t blame you for crying over love and crying over the heartache even though it happened a long while ago. It’s not your fault that love is gone. It’s not your fault that trust is broken. And it’s not your fault that friends are evil. Because you are the only pure thing on this Earth and they only seek to destroy that.”

                Betty crossed the last ‘t’ and stabbed her pen at the paper to create a period. Closing her diary, she wiped the remaining tears from her cheeks and inhaled deeply. The cold air filling her lungs made her feel slightly more at ease than before and loosened her chest. Her love of Archie, her trust of Veronica and her friendship of the people in that circle only proved more of Betty’s original thought.

                She was alone in this world and nothing could ever change that. She was sure that one day, maybe she would find true love and real trust. If she’s crazy, she might even have a real friend. But for now, as she walks the lonely streets on the way home from Thornhill, she realised that maybe not everyone was evil. Her phone vibrating with a quick ‘hope ur okay:)’ made her believe more that hope was out there. Hope that one day her and Jughead could rekindle whatever friendship they had before. That maybe in a few years she could see herself living in New York with him by her side, keeping her company in all the harsh times.

                They may not talk anymore, but Betty knows that he will be in her future. She’s just not certain of how long that will take. In this case, not very.


End file.
